Jacquie Ross

I Knew My Job, but I Went Quiet Most of the people in the office had gone home. I was still at my desk, trying to get my work done, when he started shouting at me. I didn't shout back. I didn't say anything at all. If you have lived with abuse, you may know that reaction. Someone at work raises their voice, talks over you or undermines you, and you go quiet, the way you once did at home to keep the peace. Setting boundaries at work after abuse can feel much harder than anyone around you...

Keep the Reply Factual Without Ignoring How You Feel His name lights up on your phone, and before you have read a word, you are already bracing for what it might say. If you have children together, or another practical reason contact has to continue, you may know that feeling well. Communicating with an abuser after you leave can pull you straight back towards the arguments, the blame and the control you worked so hard to leave. Knowing how to answer is only one part of it. Because after you...

They Are Children, Not Messengers They come through the door after a weekend away, drop their bags, and somewhere between the hallway and the kitchen it comes out. "Dad said…" And your stomach tightens before they have even finished the sentence. If you have left an abusive relationship and your children still spend time with their father, you may know this moment well. Knowing what to say when your child comes home from dad's can feel impossible when part of you wants to defend yourself and...